Topic: Velveeta

A Florida woman is suing Kraft Heinz, alleging that Velveeta Shells & Cheese takes longer than the advertised "three and a half minutes" to prepare. The hosts argue this is a "smokescreen" for a more serious federal ruling regarding Kraft's claims of having "no artificial preservatives," which a judge recently allowed to proceed due to the presence of synthetic citric acid.

Singer Patti LaBelle's recipe for macaroni and cheese, which includes seven types of cheese and lobster, is reviewed. The hosts find her inclusion of a story about her musical director's prostate cancer in a cooking segment to be bizarre. They criticize the "elitist" trend of adding expensive ingredients like truffles or lobster to a simple, cheap dish.

An NPR story regarding a "Cheesepocalypse" or Velveeta shortage is deconstructed as a blatant example of native advertising. The hosts point out that the source of the story was Kraft's own Tumblr page, launched during "Advertiser Week." They estimate the value of such a four-minute "earned media" segment on national public radio to be between $50,000 and $150,000.

The hosts discuss the historical meaning of the word "macaroni" in the song Yankee Doodle, noting it was 18th-century slang for something ultra-fashionable or "cool." This leads to a discussion about the recurring Velveeta "Ham Radio Guy" commercial and Adam Curry's recent voiceover audition for a National Geographic reality show titled "Sheer Madness" about sheep farming.

A Velveeta shells and cheese advertisement featuring a ham radio operator is analyzed for its use of the number 33 on a display. The hosts discuss the recurring appearance of "33" in news stories and marketing as a potential signal or "wink" indicating a sham or specific agenda. This leads to a broader discussion on how mainstream media often mirrors themes discussed on the podcast.