Topic: Pet Safety

A local news report on holiday pet safety is highlighted for a slip of the tongue where the reporter refers to a dog named Gatsby as a "person." The hosts note the growing cultural trend of equating pets with human beings.

The show concludes with a critique of a vague CBS News report on an FDA warning regarding poisonous dog treats that have killed 15 pets. The hosts complain that the report failed to name specific brands or origins. The episode ends with a montage of clips featuring Elizabeth Warren and the show's signature "Adios, Mofos" sign-off.

As the total solar eclipse approaches, media outlets have issued warnings for pet owners to keep their animals indoors to prevent them from looking at the sun. The hosts ridicule this advice as a sign of societal decline and discuss the logistics of the eclipse path through Oregon and the shortage of certified safety glasses.

States including Hawaii, Arizona, and Connecticut are implementing fines for drivers who do not restrain their pets in vehicles. The hosts discuss the sensory experience of dogs sticking their heads out of car windows, suggesting the high volume of smells acts as an intense experience for the animals. The segment concludes with a final appeal for listener support and a sign-off from the hosts.